This is one of those days. I feel like I’ve left so much behind in my life and brought so little with me. Most of what I’ve left behind belongs there. It was doing nothing for me but the wrong thing.

Is that really the truth, or just what I tell myself so that I don’t tear up when I think about it?

I quit smoking six years ago today. I did it so that I would be able to mark today as something positive, instead of the horror that comes up in my mind most of the time. Leaving the smoke and the horror behind is a good thing. That, I have to believe. Then there’s things like friends, family even. Am I better off now that I have less people to care about? I mean, the less amount of people I know, the less people I can lose, right? I’m pretty sure that’s a solid equation, but on a day like today it sure fucking sucks to not have 30 people to call and commiserate with.

On a totally different note, I’m leaving for India in two days. I’m going alone and I’ll be there for a month. Essentially, I’m going there to teach a group of people how to do my job so that eventually they can take mine from me and do it for far less than what I’m paid. I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid, yaknow. Given the choice, it was either I took the free month-long all-expense paid trip to India and did the training, or someone else would. So I said ‘Fuck it!’ and signed on.

I have huge regrets about this decision now. Things like willfully taking a month away from the ‘real’ world, from my ‘normal’ life, from my wife and the few people I really do care about (they exist). I’m also scared as fucking fuck right now. I mean, being a Vegan and what with my stomach full of ulcers, my fucked up Duodenum, and my erosive esophagitis, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to be able to eat. The good news is that they’re a very vegan friendly culture over there. Huges sect of India worships the Cow and basically thanks their animals for their contribution to society and the whole sacrifice they make to maintain their way of life. This is exactly the kind of thinking that I’m lobbying for with my Veganism, so it’s all good in that respect, but I’m really unsure how “ulcer” friendly they are over there. Anyone who knows me is aware of my undying love for spices and hot sauces. But since the ulcers, I’ve been able to eat nothing but bland blah blahness, and it sucks massive balls because I’m SUCH a food lover… cry cry.

Then there’s the cultural divide. Oh, and communication. I’m going to have to teach a room full of newbie Indians how to do my job. Am I going to be able to do this? Will I even understand them? Will they understand me? Fuck! My boss has even told me repeatedly that I’m going to have to remove my ear and eye rings before I go there, saying that they won’t ‘get it,’ or some shit like that. I’m not going to. Let them not ‘get it’ for all I care.

Here’s a valid question. It’s been exactly a year since I’ve actually updated my blog. Is there anyone out there still reading this?

I’m on the bus to work, driving right past the World Trade Center site RIGHT now… It’s not a holiday, people! Get back to fucking work!

Shit, now I’m crying. I should go.

1,326.

That’s how many days ago I quit smoking. 5 years to some. 31,824 hours to others. Sometimes it feels like an age, others, an hour.

Couldn’t have done it without tireless support of the love of my life, Eve. The reason I know this to be true is two-fold.

One, I had previously tried to quit smoking nearly three dozen times — far as I can recall — with ZERO help from others in my life and, as you can conclude, ZERO success. And two, with her by my side, I can pretty much accomplish anything within earthly reason.

I helped a little too. And for that, I’m proud.

At this point, the only thing I miss about smoking, is the quitting.

Fuck 9/11 elitist flag-wavers, I was there. I don’t need you assholes telling me how and when to remember things.

It’s MY freakin’ holiday now!

Yeah, I’m starting to crave flesh now. Let me tell you, it’s a very odd craving for someone who’s been Vegan for almost two years to suddenly have. Pretty sure that I’m not gonna be able to resist it for much longer. Feeling tired and cold, but otherwise content. Gonna go back downstairs to my condo and maybe play a few games of Endless Zombie Rampage… fuck it. I’m okay with the irony. You should be too.

Oh, while I was contemplating my inevitable demise, I put together a little zombie-related rundown for y’all.

Enjoy it while you still have the capacity to feel…

– Obvious

Zombie Apocalypse * Zombie Slave Leia * Fido * Apple Invasion * Naked Ape * 30 Days of Night * Zombie American * Zombie Emergency Defense Program

It’s Blog Like It’s the End of the World Day! Everybody Panic!

You can keep up with my ongoing entry here.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Zombies are the new Black. Marvel Zombies are great, Zombie Superman is (in good ole ObZomb’s opinion) even cooler, but now what we’ve got here is a straight up winner! Zombie Slave Leia. I’m not even worthy enough to bask in the gory glory of her shadow. What’s next, zombie Scooby Doo? I said it first, you’re my witness… so if it happens, I want cash!

Just a reminder for all y’all undead lovin’ individuals. The new ZombComâ„¢ flick FIDO is coming out on Friday. You’ll remember from the last round-up that FIDO is about a world filled with domesticated zombies. Billy Connolly plays Fido with Carrie-Anne Moss as his owner.

What some have estimated to be a crowd of nearly 150 *zombies* took to the streets and terrorized the citizenry of San Francisco, Ca. After the mob converged in a central square, the decided (how they had enough brain power left for decision-making is beyond me) to storm local businesses, including the flagship Apple store. See, my brethren have taste in tech as well as brains!

Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith’s masterwork of vampire fiction 30 Days of Night is nearly here people. Sony Pictures just posted a great little teaser trailer, and I command you to view it as soon as humanly (or otherwisely) possible. The movie opens this October 19.

What happens when Swedish electronica meets zombies? Well, when melody makers Naked Ape got together with indie film unit Zombie Duck, things got bloody hot and wet!

Check it out here: Fashion Freak (NSFW)

Let’s catch up on the latest in undead jollies, shall we? Continuing where we left off, here are the next two segments of Zombie American.

Zombie American, Chapter 2
Zombie American, Chapter 3

And for good measure, here’s a bit of the Brit I that found while trolling around on MySpace:

Zombie Roommate

A Comic Shop in Winter Park, Florida, had boldly declared their base of operations (read: a comic shop) a zombie-free zone. This past April 24th they officially announced Z.E.D. — the Zombie Emergency Defense Program. With rally cries of “When the Zombie Apocalypse Comes, We Will Be Prepared!” and “Better Z.E.D. then dead!.” They’ve taken it upon themselves to ready a makeshift militia and began practicing defense scenarios in advance of the ‘impending infestation’ (which according to the blogsphere is happening right now!)

In fact, on June 24th, they will be taking up arms and spending the day shooting down some of the unfortunate undead (hey, suddenly I don’t know if I’m okay with all this ZED business!).

Also coinciding with Z.E.D., they’re sponsoring a zombie themed short-film contest/festival. Good ole ObZomb will keep you updated as the finalists and winners are chosen.

–Obvious Zombie

Yeah, I don’t know who I was trying to kid. When my neighbor’s buddy jumped me this morning, sure I got away, but not without few scrapes. I tried to tell myself that I skinned my knee on the concrete and maybe caught my arm a fence as I was fleeing, but what’s the point of bullshitting myself? I’m infected and I know it.

My street is quiet now, and when I got to the bodega it was empty. I grabbed a bunch of tender bits off the shelves and I was so hungry that I ripped open a few bags of chips and such and gorged myself on the spot. Here’s the thing though, no matter how much I ate, I stayed hungry.

Yeah, they got me. Fuckers!

I’m fairly certain in a few hours I’m gonna be playing for the other team, if you know what I mean. I’m gonna try and make a concerted effort to keep a log of my transformation, for scientific purposes.

– Obvious… soon to be Zombie.

I feel a little queasy and I’m getting hungry. Usually would have had breakfast and lunch by now. Yeah, been a little preoccupied, I know. Think I’m gonna have to brave a run to the corner bodega for some vittles.

Wish me luck!

– Obvious

Yep, it’s here alright. Z-Day, Zombpocolypse, whatever… just what I’ve been telling you people was coming for a long time now. Dead jumping up and having a walkabout, living running around like chickens with their heads on the block, bodies doing a jig. I was mentally prepared for this, but of course, I’ve been caught with my pants down as far as gear and goods.

I can see for a good mile in each direction from my roof, and everywhere I look all I see bits of random violence and general chaos. It’s pretty difficult to get up here — fifth floor utility closet with a rusty ladder that leads to the roof — so I’m sure I’ll be ok up here for a bit.

Half the town seems to be in flames. What the fuck is up with that? I mean, you know a zombie didn’t start the fires, right? God damn idiots must be tring to burn them do death or something… haven’t they ever seen a zombie movie. Need to destroy the brain, sever the head somehow, or just place a bullet through the noggin. Blazing one of ‘em up is like saying, ‘please, set everything in the entire vicinity on fire. I’ll wait.’

…grr

Damn, I’m tired

I can hear them outside. Some kind commenter named Evan sent me a link to some survival tips. Thanks man! Skimming it makes me wish I had a Shaolin spade or a crossbow. I’m prepping some tossing Mollies (an awful waste for twenty year-old scotch!) and getting ready for a quick run up to the roof to get a better idea just how bad my neighborhood really is.

I’ll get an updated out when I get up there–thanks to you, Airport Extreme!

-Obvious

TV didn’t make me feel any better. Classic emergency broadcast signal you’ve seen in every freakin’ zombie horror movie. Got my japanese sword and arabic dagger in my lap. Ready for, yaknow, whatever. They feel no fear, why should you? and Blades don’t need reloading. That’s pretty much all I can remember from the *Guide* right now. That and the fact that this looks like it’s way beyond a Class 2 outbreak. There’s still power, so that’s a good sign.

My RSS feed is pretty much going insane right now. Looks like every blogger I’ve ever known are all writing at once! My Elves are Different seems to know a lot more about this than I do.. and D1sc0r0b0t apparently has a driveway full of ‘em. Shit, even the chaps over at SF Signal are in the midst of some serious shit right now.

Awesome! Phone’s dead. Well, thank GoD for broadband and skype. Who’s the beta-tester now, bitches?

No answer… from anyone.

Great… just great.

My first thought, after the piss and all, is that I’ve read the Zombie Survival Guide, so I’m ready, right? I press my legs upward like I’ve done at the gym a million times. I realize that it’s Jayson’s, ahem, boyfriend Larry that I’ve just sent sailing over into the yard.

Ok… get up, get UP! Don’t let them get in no bites, no scratches… Run RUN. Shitballs! I’m huffing it down the block.. where the fuck am I going?!

Passing Jay, all hunched over. Now I see it. He’s half in the street… chomping oh Girt. Ugggghhhhhsss, paaaallezzesss! I DID NOT need to see that.

Think. Zombie Guide. Everything was cool when I went to bed. So what’s going on, Class 2 outbreak? I’m hoping Class 2… that’s only a few Zombies. Can’t have spread that far that fast, right? Ok, step one–get indoors. Find a good stationary location. Don’t wanna be on the run in the middle of an outbreak!

I’m heading back home, locking the doors, grabbing some zombie appropriate weaponry(?), and turning on the TV…