So I got dressed and ready for work, threw my bag over my shoulder and headed to the elevator train across the avenue. As usual, as I’m passing my neighbors house and I hear the mutt next door, Girt, barking at my approach. She’s out in the yard yapping up a bit more than her usual storm. I didn’t see her owner Jayson though. Weird. he’s usually out there sitting out on the stoop waiting for Girt to drop her morning *package*. I noticed what looked like a badger or rather, part of a badger, laying dead in his yard and figured this was the cause of Girts commotion.

Whatever :/

When I get to the train station, it’s empty. I’m thinking, “WTF?”, but without the initials. Then it hits me. I must’ve done it again–gotten my ass up for work, headed out to the train, and it’s fucking Saturday! Everyone else is home asleep, or watching cartoons or whatever, and my dumb ass gets up like it was frakin’ hump day and I was needed at the quarry. Yeah, I’m retarded like that.

So I’m walking back down my block. I see Jayson now. He’s bent over on the curb of the sidewalk picking at something. That’s when I first noticed the fire. The pastor’s quarters of St. Martin is in flames. As I’m grabbing the cellphone out of my breast pocket to dial 911, I’m knocked down from behind.

My irate self mutters, “What the FUCK! Asshole!” and as I turned myself over, horror washed over me. Cold realization, my bitches. “Fuck me in the ear!’

Zombies…

I don’t know what’s going on, but I heard what I thought was an explosion down my street this morning. But oddly there doesn’t seem to be anyone out walking on my normally busy avenue. Has anyone else noticed anything strange today?

-Obvious

Zombie Last Supper

Via [BoingbBoing]

My Monstrous Militia,

Dead, nearly dead, and undead alike rejoice, ’cause it’s that time of the month again. Time take a look the latest group o’ gangrenous guts being gouged from the gullet and strewn about for all to see.

Later is Now, Baybah!
In case you had forgotten, 28 Weeks Later opens today and ObZomb (that’s me) says ‘Yes, yehaw, and yahoo!’ I cannot wait to feast my rotting ocular nerves upon what’s sure to be an awesomely good rip ’em up. I’m hoping we’ll get to see glimmers of Robert Carlyle’s genius turn (IMHO) as Colqhoun in Ravenous show through a bit in 28 Weeks… man, that movie creeped me out!

Move Over Bicentennial Man
It’s the 1950s and the great Zombie war has been waged — and won. Apparently some asteroid passed the earth, raised the dead, and broke loose some hell. With the zombies effectively beaten, a meglo-corporation figures out how to tame them, and begins marketing them as domestic servants. This is the premise of Fido, starring Billy Connelly as the eponymous zombie, and Carrie-Ann Moss as the seemingly generic ’50s housewife. Lions Gate Pictures, after watching the trailer, I could kiss you! Like ObZomb (me again) said in the previous Zombie Round-Up, Zombie comedy, or ZombCom (a term I am coining and copyrighting RIGHT the F NOW!) is a genre that transcends the cultural divide, and this one looks hella funny!

Un-Dead at 30,000 Feet
Ok, now if you thought snakes on planes were bad enough, then check this shit out. New Line Cinema is set to distribute a movie that revolves around an in-flight zombie attack. The film from director Scott Thomas was internationally released with the title Plane Dead, but New Line has taken it upon themselves to re-title it Flight of the Living Dead. The way I see it you’re either someone who wants to see a movie about zombies on a plane or you don’t, so at this point I think the title is pretty irrelevant. I think the tagline speaks for itself: Un-Dead at 30,000 Feet.

Non-Zombie, but Relevant
The Hollywood Reporter is, um, reporting that ZombCom masters, brothers Peter and Michael Spierig, are working on a futuristic vampire flick with Weta Workshop handling the monster and effects duty, and Ethan Hawk in the star chair. As long as the brothers can keep each other from losing their unique sense of style, unlike some other brother/director team *cough* Matrix *hacks*, this should be an interesting movie. The feature is tentatively titled Daybreakers.

And lastly, some funny… or DIE!

La presenta: Zombie-American

Thanks to Dr. Geek for bringing this gem to good ol’ ObZomb’s attention!

This week in zombie comic news.

Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead, Vol. 6: This Sorrowful Life hits the shelves. The TPB collects issues #31-36 of the Kirkman zombie saga, and totals out to 136 pages of gray, gory, goodness.

Black Panther #27-29 — Marvel Zombies will be making some waves in the Wakandian king’s pool. Check out the current Black Panther arc (#27-29) to see the newly juxtaposed Fantastic Four tangle with some Galactus fueled super-zombies.

Sincerely sick,
Obvious

I wish we lived in a world that didn’t publish mass murderer’s manifestos.

-Obvious

I hate feeling like I’m the one who’s sane in this world… cause I know me, and I definitely don’t want my brand of *sanity* to be the best this Universe has to offer.

-Obvious

Hordes,

While I never thought I’d have enough zombie-related news to do one of those ‘This Week In Zombie’ until the great zombie uprising began in earnest, I never let the dream die. Looks like my perseverance payed off, as I have been able to gather a few good zombifyed nuggets to share with y’all.

Let’s start with the obvious (ahem):

28 Weeks Later — Oh yes!
I look forward to making cinematic eye-love to the latest installment in Danny Boyle’s not-quite-zombies-but-I’ll-take-what-I-can-get scarefest. Yes I do! Even though they’re really not Zombies per se, but rather like Beserkers, good ole Obvious welcomes all flesh-eating, virus-spreading, genocidal maniacs into the fold. With just a few more weeks to go before 28 Weeks Later hits the theaters, the rumblings of a third installment have already begun — tentatively titled 28 Months Later. The possibility of Months will doubtless live or die on the Box Office performance of Weeks, so I got my rotted fingers crossed. Fast-moving, scary-ass zombies … come to Papa!

Primetime Zombies — it’s about fucking time!
CBS TV is shooting a pilot called Babylon Fields, which is going to be a Zombie horror series. The ghouls over at Icons of Fright snagged some exclusive pictures of a gaggle of undead doing the boiler-plate emerging from a cemetery routine. Don’t let me down CBS, or I’ll be sending some real zombies down to show you how it’s really done.

We’re here. We’re dead. Get used to it.
That’s the tagline for indie flick American Zombie. Apparently, it’s a mockumentary chronicling the rise of the ‘non-living’ community in Los Angeles. It’s fairly obvious that American Zombie is intended as a comedy, and under most circumstances, I’m totally okay with that. When done right, Zombie comedy is genre that transcends the cultural divide — Shaun of the Dead, the Spierig brother’s Undead, and the Return of the Living Dead series are great examples of how funny we undead can be — and I’m hoping that American Zombie will be making its way to an Indie theater near me soon so I can see if it makes the cut.

Brisbane 2007 — Zombies take to the streets
Here are some great pictures from the Zombie Walk in Brisbane. It’s nice to see my people getting together and going out for a stroll.

Putridly yours,
Obvious

on that pale blue dot
his life returns to normal
but what is normal?

Dearest Dead,

The Hooters franchise says there’s going to open up a Hooters restaurant in Israel come this summer, or as I suggest they call it ‘The Homicide Bomber Magnet.’

Titties, pork ribs, and beer. I think that’s what they call the Tehran Trifecta.

Don’t these corporate dweebs pause for a moment to think what kind of consequences a restaurant like that will have on the ever downward-spiraling image of Americans in the global theater? Holy warriors will have a yet another solid *reason* to point at and say ‘See, this is exactly what I’ve been talking about, my homeboys!’

Hooters, Home of the Infidel Ideology.

Holy Fucking Hell,
Obvious

Did anyone else notice that Steve Jobs didn’t even bother to mention their computer line-up during his keynote speech, or their operating system?

Discuss